Harry Potter and the Casino Royale
by Loki Palmer
Summary: After defeating Voldemort, Harry goes off on a mission to hunt down any remaining Death Eaters.  On the way, however, he meets up with an old enemy ... and an old flame!  HP/HG  Recently revised Chapters 8 and 9 ...
1. Chapter 1

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: I'm making no money off of this work of fanfiction. Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures.**

**Chapter 1**

Augustus Rookwood was a balding man in his sixties, working as a Ministry connection to Prague. He sighed as he came up the elevator one evening, thinking to himself, "It's high time I consider retiring. I'm becoming so tired." He entered his office, sat down in his chair and started to relax. His relaxation was cut short when he heard a voice say, "Good evening, Rookwood."

That voice … it sounded so familiar … but who could it possibly be? Then realization hit him like a Bludger in his gut as soon as he saw a mop of unruly black hair and eyes that were Avada-Kedavra-green. "Potter," he growled, "whatever might bring you here?"

"Did you miss me that much?" asked Harry with a smile – the smile of a cat looking at a delicious mouse, ready to strike. "It turns out, Rookwood, that the Ministry thinks of you as a liability. M doesn't have a problem with making money, but not selling our secrets."

"You are a young rookie yourself, Potter. Surely there would have been a 00 agent after me, if they wanted the job done right, and you need at least – "

"Two kills. Yes, I know," said Harry in a cold voice.

Rookwood noticed the coldness, and realized his time was running short. "It seems you've made one kill already. How did he die?"

"Your snivelling rat-faced contact? He's a bloody spot on a bathroom floor." This statement was the truth – Harry met up with Peter Pettigrew in a bathroom. Peter, in an act of desperation, tried running out in his rat Animagus form, and Harry smashed him underfoot. End of rat. Period.

"As for the second kill, it will be – AAAAAAAAH!" said Rookwood, being cut off by a Banishing Charm sending him out a window to his death.

"Yes," said Harry, "it's much easier than I'd think."


	2. Chapter 2

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: I want to give a big thank you to everyone who reviewed – your reviews were, in fact, the first I ever received as an author and I was so happy for them! I am glad you like this story and I hope to keep everyone entertained as we go along. Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling, and Casino Royale belongs to Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures. **

**If I wrote Harry Potter, Harry would end up with Hermione, the genius who saved his life countless times, not with Ginny Weasley, the red-headed fangirl who looks like his mom! Check out the appearances of Lily Potter (n****é****e Evans) in the Harry Potter movies, especially the younger portrayals in the Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows: Part II, then try to tell me with a straight face that there is NO similarity in appearance between her and Ginny Weasley. Seriously, Sigmund Freud would have a field day dissecting the weird Oedipus complex there. And Hermione Granger, smartest witch of Harry's generation, with Ronald Bilius Weasley, the Troll-Brained Comedy Relief? Come on!**

**Okay, enough of my ranting. On with the story!**

**Chapter 2**

Ginny Weasley looked up from her desk to see Harry standing before her. "Hey, Harry," she said. "Have you been up to your usual death, destruction, and mayhem again?"

Harry smiled. "Ginny, how could you possibly think so lowly of me?"

"Harry, we both know your record speaks for itself. As much of a nightmare it is for the Ministry to clean up your messes, I bet it's an even worse nightmare for any woman who tries to keep up with you."

"Oh, come on, Ginny! How could any woman keep up with me? You'd think I would be too much for any woman to handle, right?"

"You certainly are too much for me," she said. After the Battle of Hogwarts, the two of them had a brief period of dating, only to find out that they were better as just friends, so the break-up was amicable on both sides. "There's only one I can think of who can handle you – Hermione Granger."

Before Harry could reply to this, a sharp Scottish voice barked over the intercom, "Miss Weasley! If Potter is here, send him in now!"

"Right away, M! She sounds mad, Harry … what did you do this time?"

"Apparently, I've been up to my usual death, destruction, and mayhem, Ginny," said Harry as he entered M's office. "Have a nice day."

~[James Bond riff]~

"Ah, Potter, you're finally here. Have a seat." As soon as Harry sat down, M started on Harry like a dog on a chew toy. "What do you have to say for yourself? You blew up an embassy trying to get your hands on a lead, killing said lead – WHAT, IN MERLIN'S NAME, WERE YOU THINKING? WE WANTED HIM ALIVE FOR QUESTIONING! WE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO KILL HIM!"

"At least, it's one less bomb-making Muggle around."

"Yes, but we wanted to know the people BEHIND HIM!" M yelled, slamming her fist on the table. "You never seem to think of the big picture, do you?" Harry hung his head in apology, and M's face softened just a slight fraction. "That being said, however, you managed to uncover a plot to blow up an airplane prototype out in Miami, and put a stop to it, which is to be commended. Also, we managed to find a person of interest in all this – he was betting that the airplane company's stock would plunge, assuming his plot succeeded. The man's name is LeChiffre, although you may know him by a different name."

M passed a manila folder to Harry, who opened it and skimmed the contents. "I don't believe it!" he said. "Lucius Malfoy? He's working with Muggle terrorists now?"

"Quite so, Potter, and since he's lost so much on his foiled airplane bomb plot, he's set up a high-stakes poker game at Casino Royale. He stands to gain as much as 40 million Galleons in the game. Considering that you're our best player, we'll be sending you in to make sure he does not win, and if you succeed, he'll have nowhere else to go."

"Well, it sounds like I have my mission, and once again, the fate of the world lies on my shoulders," said Harry, as he thought at the same time, "Oy ... Where's a martini when I need one?"

"Yes, indeed, it is. Stop by Q branch on your way out, Potter. Finnegan has a present for you."

~[James Bond riff]~

"Harry, long time no see! How have you been doing?" asked Seamus Q. Finnegan.

"I'm doing great, Q. M said that you have a present for me."

"Oh, aye, that I do, and I have to tell you, Harry, she be a beauty of a present."

" 'She'? Whatever could you possibly mean, Q?"

"I mean your new car, of course," said Seamus, uncovering it. "She's an Aston Martin, with all kinds of gadgets: rocket launchers, guns, a button for Onstar service in case a disaster happens – trust me, you will need it."

"Oh, ha, ha, you're a regular comedian, Q." Harry did pass his driver's test, but for one reason or another, the bills resulting from his record of destruction within a vehicle were such a headache for the Ministry that it was unwilling to insure his cars anymore. If his Uncle Vernon saw the aforementioned destruction, he would have a coronary on the spot.

Q continued his description. "It also has beverage holders, a medkit, many more gadgets, and a special feature just for you."

"Really? Q, you shouldn't have! What is it?"

Q tossed him the keys. "Go on, turn on the ignition."

Harry did so, and was shocked to hear a sultry female voice say, "Oh, Harry, you really know how to turn a girl on!"

Harry looked at Q. "How did – how did you get Hermione to do the voice for this?"

"Oh, Harry, it was easy. I told her it was to help improve public safety."

"Q, we know there is no such thing as safety where I'm concerned, even when you're involved."

Q laughed, "You know what's really funny, Harry? She said the exact same thing to me!"

Harry joined in the laughter. When the both of them calmed down, he asked, "Is there anything else you have for me before I leave?"

"Oh, yes, M did ask me to inject a chip in you." Q did so, as Harry deadpanned, "Ow."

"O, stop whining, Harry. This way, we'll be able to keep an eye on you and your location. As far as your new car is concerned, we'll take care of transporting it out to Montenegro for you to meet you as you get off the train."

"Thank you, Q." Harry patted the car, saying to it, "I'll see you later, Hermione."

The car said back, "That you will, Harry, that you will."

As Q watched Harry leave, he said to himself with an inward groan, "Something tells me that in spite of all my efforts, I won't be seeing this car again ..."


	3. Chapter 3

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures. O children, rejoice, for in this chapter, our favorite couple gets to meet again! SQUEEEEEEE! H/Hr flashbacks galore! :)**

**Chapter 3**

Harry was sitting down in his train seat, when he saw a woman with chestnut brown hair sit in the seat across from him. Upon seeing her, his memory flashed back to all the times the two of them had gone through as students at Hogwarts. She gave him his first hug in first year, right before he went to meet Professor Quirrell. In second year, when she was Petrified, he was so angry he wanted to slaughter whatever was responsible – and he did so. In third year, he joined her in a trip back in time to save Buckbeak the hippogriff and his godfather Sirius Black. Fourth year saw the coming of the Triwizard Tournament, a frantic hug from Hermione before facing a dragon, and Rita Skeeter's rumors of them becoming a couple.

As for the Yule Ball, it was a complete disaster. Harry felt like smacking his head against a wall whenever he thought of it. "You idiot," he thought to himself, "if only you weren't so obsessed with Cho the ho, you could have asked Hermione before Viktor Krum did!" Ron's stupidity and jealousy just added to the mix, making the night awful for the three of them.

Fifth year saw the disaster of an attempted relationship with Cho Chang, which never got off the ground due to the fact that she was still heartbroken over Cedric's death, not to mention her jealousy of Hermione. Hermione's humorous response to this was, "It wouldn't hurt to tell her how ugly you think I am." Harry responded with an honest, "But I don't think you're ugly."

Fifth year also saw the battle at the Department of Mysteries, and Antonin Dolohov was lucky that Harry was not thinking straight when Hermione went down to that dark flame curse. Otherwise, Harry's anger would have seen to it that he wouldn't just go out as stiff as a corpse, he would go out AS a corpse! When Voldemort tried to torture Harry into madness, one of the key memories he thought of was Hermione impacting into him like a bushy-haired missile in the Great Hall after she recovered in second year.

Sixth year was an overall disaster, due to factors like the Potions book from the Half-Blood Prince (who, it turned out, was Snape). Hermione surprised him by snapping at him for using the notes written within the margins to do better than her – surely, she would have been ecstatic that he was doing better in Potions? Apparently not in this case! Also, since WHEN had she shown any interest before in Ronald Weasley, the Troll-Brained Sidekick who made her cry all the time? As to what he thought of Ginny, she was a good friend and nothing more that year.

After the funeral of Headmaster Dumbledore, Hermione and Ron showed up at 4 Privet Drive to meet with Harry. Hermione had heard small details over the years of Harry's maltreatment, and as she hexed Vernon Dursley, her anger was so terrible to behold that Ron had to run and hide! Harry was quite impressed that she could cause so much pain and suffering, without casting one Cruciatus curse! After all this, the three of them left on their camping trip...

All these flashback memories, among others, occurred to Harry in the matter of seconds, when he saw her wand pointing at him, and he pointed his wand back. "To what song," he asked, "did I first lead you in dancing after Ron Weasley left our company on the camping trip?"

"You led me in dancing to the song 'O Children' by Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds," she replied. "Now, Harry, answer me this question: What was the suggestion I made to you in the Forest of Dean?"

He replied, "You suggested to me, 'Maybe we should stay here, Harry … grow old.' "

They lowered their wands, glad of having confirmed each other's identities. Harry asked, "So, Hermione, what leads you to accompany me on this mission?"

"M thought I would be the best person to hold your reckless behavior in check, Harry. As you might have also guessed, I'm the money."

Harry gave a small whistle of appreciation. "Every Knut, Sickle, and Galleon of it."

"Harry, as much as we would like to enjoy our time together, we need to pay attention to the mission. LeChiffre must not win, or else the Ministry will be responsible for indirectly funding terrorism. Considering this factor, I'll be keeping my eyes on the Ministry's money, and off of your perfect Quidditch-toned arse," she finished with a small blush.

Harry smirked back at her, saying, "You noticed?"

~[James Bond riff]~

Getting off the train, the both of them entered Harry's car, which chirped, "Hello again, Harry."

"Miss Granger, it is my pleasure to introduce you to Hermione. If Q is your father, she is doubtless your mother."

"A pleasure to finally meet you, Hermione. What would that make Harry – my boyfriend?"

Hermione burst out laughing at this, as Harry muttered, "Of all the bloody cheek –"

"I HEARD THAT!"

"Will you kids quiet down?" said Q through the radio system. "Q branch is having way too much fun listening to the repartee between you." Indeed, George Weasley's laughter was unmistakable in the background. "I assume that Hermione found you with no problems, Harry?"

"No problems whatsoever, Q. She seems to like your car's cheeky sense of humor. For what other purpose have you called?"

"It is actually thanks to Q branch that we are able to keep in contact with you on this mission, Potter," said M. "Congratulations on finding him with no problems, Granger. We hope you can keep him safe and out of as much trouble as possible."

"I can do my best to keep him safe, M, but keeping him out of trouble is going to be something else, you know."

"I agree with Hermione," said the car. "He's going to need all the help he can get."

"So, M, what are the recommendations for name cover, if any?"

"Miss Weasley seems to have found a good one … Miss Weasley?"

"I'm right here, M. Hi, Harry, hi Hermione. The cover I have found for you is perfect. Harry, your cover name is Daniel Radcliffe, and Hermione, your cover name is Emma Radcliffe."

"Don't you mean Emma Watson, Ginny? We both know she isn't married to Dan in real life."

"Yes, but you're playing the part of his wife, Hermione … who better to pull that off than you?"

"Can you explain to me why Daniel Radcliffe, Ginny?" asked Harry.

"You look a lot like him, Harry … except for the fact that his eyes, in real life, are blue."

"Isn't something like this against the Statute of Secrecy, M? I really respect Daniel Radcliffe as an actor, and I don't want to see him getting into trouble for something that I might do. Also, what about putting up with paparazzi? Daniel's very popular these days, you know."

"One question at a time, Potter. It's just a suggestion for a cover name, though I am sure LeChiffre's people will have sniffed you out soon, so it's up to you whether to use your cover or not. The reservations are in Daniel and Emma's name, but measures have been taken to keep the paparazzi away – FAR away."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you, M, that means a lot to me." The last time he met a paparazzo, he knocked him out and smashed his camera to bits. In his work as an agent for the Ministry, Harry felt he could never be too careful.

"You're welcome, Potter. We wish you and Granger the best of luck. Over and out."


	4. Chapter 4

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures.**

**Chapter 4**

Arriving at the hotel, Harry and Hermione walked up to the reception desk. "Good afternoon, and welcome to the Hôtel Splendide," said the receptionist. "How may we be of service?"

"Harry Potter and Hermione Granger here to claim a reservation, under Dan and Emma Radcliffe."

"Ah, yes, Monsieur Potter, you do look like Monsieur Radcliffe, non? Either one of you can sign on the form."

"Hermione, darling, since you're in charge of the money, you sign."

"With pleasure," said Hermione, but the scowl on her face said the exact opposite. As they left for the elevators, she asked him, "That's just great, Harry, you've blown your cover! What was the big idea with that stunt you pulled?"

"Hermione, I think M's right. Most likely, LeChiffre already knows I'm here, so what's the point having a cover?"

"Oh, yeah, a cover's useless if it's already blown."

"That is my point exactly."

"I was being sarcastic, Potter. You just had a hunch that LeChiffre already knew about you, and now he knows something else about you besides your name."

"And what would that be?"

"He now knows that you often engage your mouth before you engage your brain."

"Ouch. So, shall we go up to our room together?"

"I'll be seeing you later, Harry. I don't think the elevator can handle the both of us PLUS your gigantic ego," said Hermione as she entered the elevator.

"Monsieur Potter?" called the receptionist. "This just recently arrived for you."

Harry accepted the package he was given. "Thank you."

~[James Bond riff]~

Inside the package were a couple letters, one from M and the other from their contact – with the cover name Rupert Grint. Shaking his head, Harry said to Hermione, "Any fan of the Harry Potter film series would see right through these cover names we have, Hermione – you can now see why I decided to dispense with my cover name."

"I still don't think it excuses you, Harry."

"Hermione, the film series has made more than one billion Galleons worth of wizarding money in the Muggle world alone! Anyone who doesn't recognize the names of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint must be terribly isolated from society – or a religious idiot who thinks Harry Potter is evil. The irony of it all, Hermione, is that I defeated the most evil wizard of all time, and there are religious people who think I'm the evil one!"

Hermione sighed. How many times had she been through her fellow students avoiding Harry for some reason or another? "Harry, I know your life has never been easy, but you must not let your detractors get you down. Even among the religious people, there are some who support you wholeheartedly. J.K. Rowling is herself a Presbyterian."

"She did a marvelous job with the books." Indeed, both Harry and Hermione were fans of both the books and the movies.

"Harry, I still think it's quite disturbing how she had you paired with Ginny at the end. She looks like your mother, after all."

"I still shudder to think about it – that's the only part of the books and movies that I did not like. Bonnie Wright didn't even get that much screen time – and people are supposed to believe that she and I got together? That's honestly my only problem with the series."

"I know, Harry. How about we head out to meet Ron?"

~[James Bond riff]~

"Hey, you two, long time no see!"

"Indeed, Ron. Tell me, how have things been for you since you left us?"

"Where did I leave you, Harry?"

"You were complaining all through our seventh-year camping trip, and when you had enough and told me you wanted to leave, I Obliviated our location out of your memory. Security measure, Ron, you understand."

"Oh, right. It was pretty awful for some time after I left, and I discovered that the Deluminator I got from Dumbledore would help me get to wherever you were. I'm still not sure how it worked, but it enabled me to Apparate to – this forest you were at – "

"How did you know we were there?" said Hermione, a cold expression filling her features.

"Just a hunch, I guess, Hermione, and I was hopeful one of you would come out – "

"Ron, what do you mean? We never saw you!" said Harry.

"You would have seen me, if Snape hadn't chased me away and took the Deluminator. I never saw you again – until now."

"Snape?" Harry and Hermione were astonished.

Ron nodded. Harry, meanwhile, flashed back to seeing the mysterious doe Patronus, following it, retrieving the Sword of Gryffindor, and destroying Slytherin's locket with it.

"You've been hiding out in Europe ever since?" asked Hermione.

"Yes, I have, and it's been much easier for me now that Voldemort's gone."

"So what can you tell us about LeChiffre and his connections?"

"LeChiffre only arrived a few days ago, and he has been making friends with the chief of police. This could make life much harder for all of us, and since we could not out-bribe LeChiffre, we went with the next best thing."

As Ron spoke, a group of police cars surrounded the chief. Ron continued, "Using this wonderful Muggle technology called Photoshop, we cooked up a spicy little scandal to keep him out of our way. Alas, the amazing things Muggles can do!"

Harry and Hermione nodded in agreement. Any person of power on LeChiffre's payroll was bad news for all of them.

~[James Bond riff]~

Harry hung up a dress by Hermione's bathroom door. "Hermione, I want you to look so beautiful tonight, the other players will be thinking more about your neckline than about their cards."

"Trying to use me as a distraction, Harry? Are you sure it will work?"

"You're beautiful enough for this dress. I'm just trying to work the best with what I have."

"You're sweet, Harry. Thank you for the compliment. Now, how about you try on what I bought for you?"

This last statement caught Harry off guard. "What you bought for me?" He went back into his room to find a very expensive tuxedo. Bringing it with him, he said, "Hermione, I already have a suit."

"Yes, dear, but that suit looks much better than the one you have."

"It's tailored to suit me. How did you size me up so quickly?"

"You haven't changed much in all these years, Harry. Besides, I'm just trying to work the best with what I have."

Harry smirked on hearing his own words turned on him. "Touché … what are you, some kind of an expert on fashion?"

This statement elicited a laugh from Hermione. "Go ahead, Harry, try it on."

Harry did so, to find that it really fitted him well. "Hermione, I have to hand it to you, you know your fashion!"

"Well, I can't have you dressing like a bum around a person like LeChiffre, now, can I? No, I want you looking good and devilishly handsome!"

Harry gave her a hug. "Well, as far as this part of the mission is concerned, Mission Accomplished. Thanks again."

"You're welcome, Harry. I'll be down in a while."


	5. Chapter 5

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures.**

** Regarding the poker game, I realize that there were a number of players at the game in Casino Royale, as there are in the fanfic. However, I have decided for the sake of simplicity that only three players (later two) will be important: Harry Potter, LeChiffre, and the character I've picked to play the role of American CIA agent Felix Leiter. I'm pretty sure you'll like the person I chose for that role. :) Enjoy!**

**Chapter 5**

"Good evening, and welcome, Mr. Radcliffe … or is it Potter? Forgive me, but I'm a bit confused."

Lucius Malfoy had hardly changed in all the years since Harry last saw him. His hair was still the slick platinum blonde it had always been, though it was shorter, and it seemed that he had finally tossed out the bow he had in it. Harry was glad for the change; the bow made Lucius look like he was gay. Shaking the hand offered to him, Harry said, "We wouldn't want you to be all confused, would we, Mr. LeChiffre? You're our host, after all."

"Either way, Mr. Potter, this promises to be a fun evening for us all. See you later."

~[James Bond riff]~

"Well, look who else is here … if it isn't Neville Longbottom. What brings you all the way out here to Europe?"

Neville turned around and his face broke into a wide smile. "Harry! It's great to see you, brother!"

"Same here, Neville." They both clapped each other on the back. Even though they were not brothers, they were like brothers to each other. Harry could always count on Neville to have his back, and vice versa. The two had been involved in many missions together over the years. "Are you stalking me or something?"

Neville laughed. "Not at all, Harry, but the Magical CIA thought I ought to be here to help you out. I've heard that Hermione's come along too – how is she?"

"She's still wonderful as ever – how's Luna?" After the Battle of Hogwarts, Neville and Luna had become a couple, and they got married soon afterwards.

"I'm doing well, Harry," she said. "Where's Hermione?"

"She's still up in our room, getting ready. She should be down soon."

"Well, Harry, while the three of us are here chilling, how about we have a drink?"

"Sure thing, Neville. Monsieur, s'il vous plaît?" he said, calling a waiter.

"Oui, Monsieur?"

"I would like to have a dry martini, please."

"Tout de suite, Monsieur."

"Un minute, s'il vous plaît. Three measures of Tanqueray gin, one measure of Stolichnaya vodka, half a measure of Lillet Blanc, shake until cold and add a thin slice of lemon peel."

"Oui, Monsieur." The waiter came back with the drink, as Harry said, "Merci, Monsieur." Sipping the drink, he sighed and said, "Ah, that hits the spot."

"That sounds like quite a drink, Harry. Monsieur," Neville said, turning to the waiter, "pouvez-vous m'apporter la même boisson?" (can you bring me the same drink?) The waiter did so, and Neville sipped. "You're right, Harry, this is good! Do you have a name for it yet?"

"No, not yet, but I'll have to think of something. Are things still okay in Magical America for the two of you?"

"They're still okay, Harry. How come you didn't want to come to America? They're more open to opportunities for all magical citizens there than in Magical Britain – something we know you and Hermione would appreciate."

"With my British accent, Neville, I'd stick out like a sore thumb in America."

"What a lame excuse that is. I also have a British accent, and I'm shown a lot of respect."

"Of course you're shown a lot of respect. Whenever you're angry nowadays, your eyes start glowing green, and they aren't even green to begin with."

"True." Indeed, Neville's nickname among his fellow Magical CIA agents was "Snake Eyes," due to the way his temper would strike, very much like a rattlesnake. "You would get even more respect, considering you killed off Lord Voldemort. The Magical CIA would love to have you."

"Would America be big enough for the two of us?"

"Sure it would be more than big enough – you can take the West Coast, and I'll take the East Coast." The three of them laughed …

~[James Bond riff]~

"Messieurs-dames, if I may 'ave your attention, please? Merci, and on be'alf of our casino, we would like to welcome you for zis game. Now, ze Bäsel bank of Gringotts 'as been more zan 'appy to sponsor ze game, so, if Monsieur Burgengold will come up, we can soon begin. Monsieur?"

The goblin named walked up, cleared his throat, and said, in a heavy Swiss German accent, "Meine Herren und Damen, I am more than honored to be the representative here tonight for die Schweizesgringottsbank. The ten million Galleons you deposited for the game are in your accounts, and, should you lose them in the game, there is a buy-in of five million Galleons should you vish to use it. Now, vill each one of you come up and enter a passvord of your choice – six characters or more? Danke." As soon as everyone had done so, he said, "Sehr gut. Enjoy yourselves!"

"Shall we begin?" asked the first one, a Monsieur Mitterand, no relation to the former French President.

~[James Bond riff]~

About a couple hours into the game, Hermione came up to Harry and kissed him on the cheek. Harry looked at her and asked, "Weren't you supposed to come in so everyone could see you?"

"What? I thought I'd surprise you."

"Nicely done. Now, Hermione, if you would join Ron up at the bar there, I'll join you later." Rubbing his eyes, he muttered to himself, "Honestly … Monsieur Mitterand, is it okay if I order a drink?"

"Of course, Monsieur Potter, go ahead."

The bartender came up to him. "Vous désirez, Monsieur?"

Harry noticed this was another bartender, so he said, "A dry martini with the following ingredients: three measures of Tanqueray, one measure of Stolichnaya, half a measure of Lillet Blanc, shake until cold and add a thin slice of lemon peel."

"That sounds like quite a drink, Potter-san," said a Japanese player, Mr. Fukutu. "I'll have the same drink, please."

"So will I," said an Italian player, Mr. Tomelli.

"I'll have one as well," said Neville.

"Is that everyone? Can we continue our game now?" asked LeChiffre.

"Whoa, someone's in a hurry. What's the rush, Mr. LeChiffre? Scared?" teased Neville.

"In your dreams, Longbottom," sneered LeChiffre.

"If you'll just give me a moment, I have a lovely young lady to talk with," said Harry, prompting a groan of exasperation from LeChiffre. "Oh, keep your pants on, Lucy … I'll be back." Neville couldn't help falling out of his chair in laughter at LeChiffre's face, beet-red in anger.

Harry came over to a grinning Ron. "Mate, you've still got quite the pair of cojones, eh? Either that, or you are mentally suicidal."

"I know, Ron, I know," said Harry. He grabbed Hermione and gave her a passionate kiss. When they separated to breathe, Hermione asked, "Not that I don't appreciate the kiss, but what was that all about? I thought you dispensed with our cover."

"I did, Hermione, but you must admit, this one is a whole lot better. Are the players still looking at us?"

"Yes, in fact, Neville's jaw is on the table." Grinning, Harry went to kiss her again, only to have her turn the back of her head toward him. "Hermione, what's got your knickers in a twist?"

"You're losing money so fast that we won't be here past midnight."

"It was worth it, though, to discover his tell."

"His tell?" Both Hermione and Ron were intrigued.

"When he's bluffing, he has an eye twitch."

"He had the winning hand the last round."

"Yes, but he only got that on pure luck. When he started the round, he had nothing to speak of."

~[James Bond riff]~

A couple hours later, Monsieur Mitterand said, "Messieurs-dames, we 'ave now been 'ere for four 'ours, so it is time zat we take a break. Gameplay will resume tomorrow night."

Hermione walked up to Harry, who asked her, "You want to do what to me?"

"I'm not sure if I follow you, Harry."

"You said you can't wait to get me back into our room. Ron, you've planted the bug, right?"

"Yeah, Harry. I'll see the two of you later."

~[James Bond riff]~

Meanwhile, LeChiffre, arriving in his room, came upon his mistress with a couple of his Muggle clients from Uganda. The leader, Obanno, turned on him and said, "What happened to my money? Did you think I would not notice that you lost my money?"

"I'll get it back for you, I promise!" he pleaded.

"Consider yourself lucky that you need your hands to play cards, LeChiffre, or I would take one of them for your theft. Instead, I'm going to cut off one of your girlfriend's hands … how would you like that?" LeChiffre did not respond. "Not a word of protest … not a plea of mercy for you … really, my dear, you should find yourself a new boyfriend."

Before he could do anything else, a Blasting Curse sent the door flying off the hinges to hit Obanno's partner, killing him as his head impacted. Harry, walking through the wreckage of the door, said, "Now, now, now … this is no way to treat a banker, any banker, even if he has lost your money."

"And just who might you be?" The only response he got was a gunshot to the head from Hermione.

"Nice shooting, Hermione … what took you so long?"

"I just wanted to wait for the opportune moment, Harry. Is LeChiffre okay? What about the woman with him?"

"LeChiffre seems to have blacked out, he's okay. The woman seems a bit stressed."

"The door … it flew … off its hinges ..." said the woman.

"Muggle, from the sound of it," muttered Harry. "Miss? Are you okay?"

The woman nodded, although she still had a look of fear in her eyes. "What was that?"

"It's nothing to worry about," said Hermione in a soothing tone. "Somnus." The lady dropped asleep. "Obliviate."

After some more Obliviation work on LeChiffre, the two people were dragged to their bed to sleep. "That's good. Call Ron and tell him to get rid of these bodies."

~[James Bond riff]~

Later on, Harry saw Hermione sitting in the shower, her nightgown clinging to her. "Hermione? What's wrong?"

"It's like there's blood on my hands, Harry … I can't seem to wash it off …"

"Let me see." He took her hands in his, kissing amd licking them. "Is that better, darling?" She nodded, tears in her eyes. "If you need to cry, you may. I won't think any less of you." She did, and he held her in a close hug all through the rest of the night.

**Aw, the romantic music in this scene makes me want to wipe tears from my eyes! A Harry/Hermione scene for the ages – what could be more romantic than comforting a damsel in distress? It makes sense for me to end the chapter here … I never noticed it before, but the poker game actually takes two days, so this is where I'll end it.**

** A slight self-promotion postscript to my loyal fans: take a look at my other works, such as the parody I put down, and the first story I've been writing, "Harry Potter and the Filii Fulminis." I don't have reviews on either one of them, and HP&FF isn't a H/Hr story (I do have a reasonable explanation for that.) I am allowed to toot my own horn, right?**

** Smiles,**

** Loki Palmer**


	6. Chapter 6

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Columbia Pictures and Ian Fleming. Juggling several stories at once can be a challenge … I've also been writing up another story called "Don't Anger Harry Potter" as well as this one.**

**Chapter 6**

Harry woke up the next morning and came out onto the balcony to see Ron. "Hey, Ron, what's up?"

"I'm doing okay, Harry. Did you sleep well?"

"I slept allright. Did you take care of the bodies like I asked you?"

"Of course. Do you see that man down there?" Harry looked down and nodded. The man he saw was a man who was accompanying LeChiffre around as a bodyguard. "He's about to get to his car, but watch this." Ron made a call on his cell phone, and it set a phone ringing in the man's car trunk. The police nearby surrounded the man, and, when he opened the trunk, there were the corpses of Obanno and his partner. Ron stopped the call and said, "Like my dad says, it's amazing what you can do with Muggle technology. Is Hermione okay?"

"Yeah, she's just sleeping."

"Has she melted your cold heart yet?" Harry wasn't sure what to think about the look he saw in Ron's eyes – was that hope or jealousy?

~[James Bond riff]~

That night, as the game was about to resume, LeChiffre said, "I hope our little game hasn't caused you to perspire, Mr. Potter."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," said Harry. "I would think I'd only be in trouble when I have the sudden urge to beat up my house elf." Neville started snorting in amusement, drawing the ire of LeChiffre's gaze. "And just WHAT do you think is so funny, Longbottom?"

"It's just … the way … Harry … winds you up … that's all, LeChiffre," said Neville in between chortling gasps that broke into laughter. There were grins all around the table, but Mr. Fukutu's comment of, "Potter-san have balls of steel to want to tease enraged gay Chinese Fireball dragon," the whole crowd burst out laughing, as LeChiffre's face had taken on a red hue and it looked like he might breathe fire.

"Now that everyone's shared a laugh at my expense, shall we continue, Monsieur Mitterand?" asked LeChiffre.

"Of course, Monsieur LeChiffre," said a smiling Mitterand.

~[James Bond riff]~

Some time into the game, Harry noticed an eye twitch on LeChiffre's face. "Aha! I've got you now!" He then decided to go all in – toss in all his chips – to try to win over LeChiffre's money in one fell swoop. LeChiffre went all in as well, just to call Harry. Unfortunately for Harry, his attempt backfired, and he lost the rest of his money.

"Oops," said LeChiffre, a grin on his face. "You must have thought I was bluffing, Mr. Potter."

Harry stormed outside to the balcony, where Hermione followed him. "Harry, you really messed up this time. I'm sorry …"

She found herself facing him, and his eyes were glowing with rage. "Oh, YOU'RE SORRY? HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE YOUR SORRY AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE? Sorry that LeChiffre's going to keep on killing off innocent people and supporting international terrorism? I've just lost my money that I had to win the game, and you're SORRY?"

"What else do you want me to say, Harry?"

"I don't know, Hermione, I don't know … I just needed a small opportunity to vent, I guess. Would it be possible to buy back in with the five million Galleons?"

"I'm afraid your ego is just going to lose us those as well, and then what will we have left?"

"You know, YOU'RE A BLOODY GOOD HELP WHEN I NEED IT!" Harry then stormed back inside, murderous. Grabbing a table knife, he made his way towards LeChiffre, only to have his way blocked by Neville.

"Harry, brother, where are you going?" Seeing the knife Harry was holding, he said to him, "You have to have some more faith, Harry. You almost have him right where you want him."

"Had. Excuse me, Neville."

Showing a surprising amount of strength, Neville grabbed Harry's arm in a tight grip. "What's wrong, Harry? I know you've lost the 10 million Galleons you started with, but isn't Hermione going to help you out?" Harry shook his head in the negative, and Neville smiled. "I thought so, Harry – guess what? I'm going to stake you by giving you my five million Galleon buy-in, because I'm not going to last much longer anyway. You can take the money when you've finished – we don't really need it."

"Thank you, Neville. Would there be any other conditions I should be aware of?"

"Just one. If you beat him, the Magical CIA will take care of taking him down."

"Deal."

~[DAHP]~

"Ah, Potter … back so soon?" asked LeChiffre. "Got your buy-in back from your little girlfriend, I see?"

"No, that's where you're wrong, Lucy. I got my buy-in from a comrade in arms. Thanks, Snake Eyes."

"Anytime, Harry," said Neville, smirking at the shocked look on LeChiffre's face. "Oh, Lucy, don't look so shocked all of a sudden … how about a drink?"

"Of course." LeChiffre called over his girlfriend and whispered to her, and she nodded. "Allow my girlfriend to get you a drink."

A few minutes into the game, Harry took a big sip of his drink, only to sense something dreadfully wrong. "Monsieur Mitterand, can you deal me out? I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Of course, Monsieur Potter."

"Mr. Potter, are you okay?" LeChiffre had a look of concern on his face.

"Nothing I can't handle. I'll be right back."

~[James Bond riff]~

Harry stumbled into the men's bathroom. Poison … it had to be poison. He tried to take a swig of water to spit it out, but no such luck. He had to get help … oh, boy, his vision was blurring, even with his glasses on … not a good sign … he managed to stumble his way to the car …

"Harry, what's wrong? You don't look so good," she said.

Harry coughed, and managed to splutter out, "Poison … need help ..."

"I'll call up the Ministry."

~[James Bond riff]~

Back at the Ministry, Ginny Weasley, Seamus Finnegan, and George Weasley ran into M's office. M was stunned. "Miss Weasley, Q, George … what's the matter? You look as white as a sheet."

"It's Harry, ma'am. He's been poisoned," said Q.

"Merlin and the saints preserve us! Do we have contact?"

"Yes, ma'am," they said.

"Good … Potter, can you hear me?"

"Yes, M, I can hear you just fine. I don't know … how much longer … I've got …"

"Harry, save your breath, mate. This is Q. George and I are going to try and help you out here. You are to do exactly as we say, or you won't survive."

"Allright, Q. I'm listening."

"Okay … get the EpiPen out of the glovebox, and shove it into your mid-neck. That'll be your first step to counteract the poison."

Harry did so. "What next?"

George got on the speaker. "George speaking here, Harry. Get the defibrillator out, and put the pads on your chest. Turn the machine on, and wait for it to charge. As soon as the red button is lit, you press it immediately, do you understand me? You've got one shot!"

About a minute went by, and Q said, "He should have pushed it by now. Harry, push the button! Push it! Push it!"

"POTTER, PUSH THE BLOODY BUTTON!" screamed M.

There was a long beep of a flatline on the monitor. Ginny fell sobbing into Q's arms. All four people stood there stunned with tears in their eyes. It couldn't be. It couldn't ….

But it was true. Harry Potter was dead.

Harry saw a tunnel of light, and went into it. The first person he saw was Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, who said to him, "What was it I always told you, lad? CONSTANT VIGILANCE! I can't believe that you would take a drink that somebody else gave you, and you ended up dying from Muggle poison!"

"Alastor," sneered Snape, "Potter thinks himself beyond such crude means of death. Get killed by a Dark Lord once and you suddenly think you're invincible."

"Oh, put a sock in it, Snivellus," said James Potter. "Prongslet, it's still too soon for you to end up here. Your mother and I know you love us, but you'll get your time one day … we would prefer that it be a long way from now."

"Unless I'm mistaken," added a smirking Lily Potter, "a certain genius named Hermione Granger is going to be furious with you. We'll meet soon – just not – so soon."

Before Harry could make any response, he heard a voice yell, "HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU AREN'T GETTING AWAY FROM ME THAT EASILY!"

~[James Bond riff]~

At the Ministry, the shock and sobbing continued … until the steady beeping of a heartbeat was heard on the monitor. Q rubbed his eyes, and said, "Do my senses deceive me?"

"Nope, your hearing's just fine, Q. Hermione Jean Granger reporting for the salvation of the Ministry's most dimwitted 00 Agent."

"Hermione, we're so sorry about the defibrillator. We were sure it would work …"

"Put a sock in it, Q … the defibrillator would have worked, if Harry had only remembered to make sure the wires were connected!"

"Oh, that's how that happened – OW!" said Harry, for Hermione had delivered him a round slap to the back of the head.

"YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HAD TO SAVE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY?"

"I'm afraid I've lost count, Hermione … honestly!"

Hermione's face softened. "Oh, how can I stay mad at you for long?"

George winked at Q, who groaned, "Oh, please, not another lovey-dovey moment!"

"Whatever is wrong with the lovey-dovey moments, Q?" asked Ginny. "I think they're sweet!"

"Too much mushiness, Ginny, too many …" Q didn't even finish his sentence, for Ginny latched onto his lips in a searing kiss. When the kiss had separated, he fainted from the shock.

M smiled. "Miss Weasley, next time you decide to snog Q, pick a more private area. Miss Granger, you have our thanks. Potter, make sure you get to a hospital."

"I'll do that as soon as I can, M … but I have to win a card game first."

M's smile grew as she rolled her eyes … how could she doubt Harry Potter for one second?

~[James Bond riff]~

LeChiffre's eyes almost bugged out of his face from sheer astonishment when he saw Harry sit down, but it only lasted a split second as he covered it with a smile of relief. "I hope you're feeling better, Mr. Potter?"

"Much better, thank you, LeChiffre, but that last hand nearly sent me to my grave. Let's continue, shall we?"

About an hour later, Neville lost his last chips. It would soon be down to Harry and LeChiffre. Mr. Fukutu and Mr. Tomelli were also along for the ride, but even so, they knew that the match would go to one of these.

The moment of truth had arrived when Fukutu and Tomelli had put in all the rest of their chips, 11 million Galleons between the two of them. With LeChiffre putting in all 50 million Galleons of his chips, Harry had to go all in to call him. Altogether, the total in the pot was a boggling 122 million Galleons.

The hands of Fukutu and Tomelli were allright, but they were no match for LeChiffre's flush hand in hearts. Harry won the game, however, with a resounding straight flush in spades.

"Monsieur Potter wins," announced Mitterand.

Neville laughed and clapped Harry on the back. Harry said, "He's all yours, Neville."

"Much appreciated, brother. Stay in touch."

"I will." Harry then walked over to a smiling Hermione and kissed her. "Shall we have dinner to celebrate, Hermione?"

"I would love that a lot, Harry. Great work."


	7. Chapter 7

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures.**

**Chapter 7**

Finally, Harry and Hermione had some time to themselves to just relax over a candlelit dinner. For drinks, Harry ordered two of his special drinks (3 measures of Tanqueray gin, one measure of Stolichnaya vodka, half a measure of Lillet Blanc, shake until cold, and add a thin slice of lemon peel) – one for each of them. Hermione, sipping it, said to him, "Wow, Harry, this is a good drink – what do you call it?"

With a heart-melting grin on his face, Harry said, "I've just come up with the name – it's a Hermione."

"You're kidding me!" said Hermione laughing. "Now, why would you call it that?"

"I call it that because it's beautiful, Hermione, just like you are."

Hermione blushed. "Thank you, Harry. You're sure it doesn't bother you, all this death, destruction, and mayhem?"

"It doesn't bother me in the least, Hermione. As you know very well, death, destruction, and mayhem follow me wherever I go. What kind of a 00 agent would I be if I let it bother me?"

"You wouldn't be a very good 00 agent, I agree," said Hermione with a chuckle.

"Are you sure you can handle a guy who lives on death, destruction, and mayhem, Hermione?"

"Yes, darling, I'm sure. I've been around you for at least seven years of death, destruction, and mayhem at Hogwarts. Harry Potter – you have treacle tart for dinner and Death Eaters for breakfast."

"Hmm … I want to ask the waiter if you're on the menu, so I can eat the treacle tart AND you."

"I'm afraid I'm not on the menu, darling, but you certainly can't eat me here, that's for sure. We'd have to move to the hotel room for that, right?"

"On the contrary, I can at least make a start here and see where it goes, Hermione," said Harry, leaning in for a kiss. Before their lips could make contact, though, her cell phone rang. They both thought, "BLASTED BLOODY CELL PHONES!"

Hermione looked at her cell phone. It had a text message on it. After reading it, she said, "It's Ron. He wants to see me about something. The Magical CIA is moving in on LeChiffre. Have a good night, Harry … I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Good night, Hermione." A few seconds after she left, he thought, "Just a minute … Ron Weasley … HERMIONE, WAIT!" and ran out after her. Unfortunately, as he came outside, he saw a couple men grab her and shove her into a car, screaming.

Harry pressed a call button on his car keys, and his car came. "Harry, what's up?"

"It's Hermione … she's been kidnapped!"

"Harry, buckle your safety belt and put all trays and seats into the upright positions. Let's go!"

The tires squealed as Harry screamed, "HEIGH HO, SILVER! AWAY!"

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-HAW!" screamed the car in a most unladylike fashion.

~["The William Tell Overture" by Gioacchino Rossini]~

A couple minutes later, they found Hermione, bound and gagged, on the road. Unfortunately, they were going too fast, and the car, swerving to avoid Hermione, ended up spinning over several times, landing upside down in a grassy field.

Fortunately, Harry was still alive, as LeChiffre and a few of his men came to drag him out of his ruined car. One of the men reached in with a wrench and plucked out his locator chip, and gave it to LeChiffre, who crushed it, saying, "I'm afraid that your friend Ronald Bilius Weasley … is now MY friend Ronald Bilius Weasley."

Harry blacked out …

~[James Bond riff]~

… When he came to, Harry found himself strapped to a simple chair with nothing on.

"Quidditch has really been very good for your body, Mr. Potter," mused LeChiffre. "It's a shame, because when I'm done with you, you may hardly have any body left."

"So, LeChiffre, what do you want?"

"It's very simple, Potter. You and your Mudblood girlfriend managed to get some money from me, and I want it back. Now, Miss Granger will probably give me the account number, if she hasn't already. What I need from you is the password. You give me the password, and I'll let her live. Give it to me soon enough, she may even leave in one piece."

"And what if I don't give you the password?"

LeChiffre swung up a knotted rope to hit Harry on his rear, eliciting a scream. "I'll torture the password out of you one way or another."

"I'm surprised you aren't threatening the Cruciatus on me."

"Oh, you were expecting the Cruciatus? That was a standard of my old master, but the problem was that if a person is exposed to it for too long, they can go insane, rather like – Longbottom's parents. With Muggle methods like this knotted rope, I can keep the torture going for a merry amount of time. You have to appreciate the irony of me, a Muggle-hating Pureblood, using their methods, right, Potter?"

"Yep – but you still aren't getting the password." LeChiffre struck him again. "Hey, Lucy – I've got an itch down there … can you scratch it?"

LeChiffre smirked. "Sure." He struck Harry again, who screamed, "NOT THERE! TO THE RIGHT! TO THE RIGHT!" LeChiffre adjusted the rope and struck again.

This last strike brought out a scream – not of torture, but of laughter. "Now the whole world's going to know that the gay Lucy 'LeChiffre' Malfoy spent his last moments scratching my balls!"

LeChiffre's eyes widened. "What do you mean, my last moments?"

"No matter how long this goes, I'm not telling you the password, LeChiffre. Your clients are going to hunt you down and tear you apart like a hippogriff on a piece of meat, and the Ministry will be after you as well if you end up killing me."

"You're wrong about that, Potter. You see, the Wizarding World still needs me and the money I can offer them. They need the information I can offer them. They …"

The door burst open to reveal a stranger pointing his wand at LeChiffre. "So, what happened to the money?" he said in a strong Russian accent.

"I'll get the money, don't worry about it."

"Money not so important to our organization as knowing who we should trust, Malfoy. Avada Kedavra." LeChiffre fell down dead, and Harry, not feeling so well himself, blacked out again.

Over a period of time, Harry kept fading in and out of consciousness. He knew he was in a hospital, but he kept on seeing shapes of what looked to him to be Hermione … with Ron … "No, not Ron, not Ron, anybody but Ron …" he would moan from time to time.

~[James Bond riff]~

"Do you have any idea who it was?" asked Ron. He was relaxing with Harry at an Italian villa.

"Not the slightest clue, Ron. One of his associates, maybe, but I don't know."

"That's odd. Any other information you know that could help?"

Harry's eyes looked at Ron as the temperature seemed to drop. "Help me, Ron, or help you?" Before Ron could even reply, three Aurors Stunned him. "Thanks a lot, boys … take him away."

~[James Bond riff]~

Later that day, Harry woke up to see Hermione propping herself up on his legs and looking at him in wonder. "You're so amazing when you wake up," she said. "Every time, you look at me like you haven't seen me in years. It almost makes me feel … reborn."

"If you'd just been reborn," said Harry with a smirk, "you wouldn't have anything on, would you?"

She looked on him with a smile, and, leaning closer, she said, "You have me there … in fact," she said, leaning still closer and starting to whisper, she continued, "you can have me anywhere."

"Really?" Harry's heart was beating faster.

Hermione nodded. "Anywhere, anytime."

"Even … right here, right now?" They finally kissed, as a bright light shone from the two of them. The kiss would have lasted longer, had it not been for …

"Guten Morgen, mein Herr Potter!" (Good morning, Milord Potter!) called a goblin voice. The sound sent Harry and Hermione tumbling out of their kiss and onto the grass out of the beach chair they were using. The sight set Goblin Burgengold into laughter.

Harry, who knew quite a bit of German, spoke back, "Guten Morgen, Meistergoblin Burgengold. Sein Gold fließe und seien Sie reich. Warum sind Sie hier?" (Good morning, Master goblin Burgengold. May your gold flow and may you be rich. Why are you here?)

"Sein Ärger erschreke Seine Feinde, mein Herr Potter, und ich beglückwunsche seine Frau auch, aber das ist nicht warum ich bin hier …" (May your anger terrify your enemies, Milord Potter, and also I congratulate your wife, but that is not why I'm here …)

"Wirklich?" (Really?) Harry could hardly believe his ears. Goblin Burgengold smiled and replied, "Ja, wirklich!" (Yes, really!)

Harry let out a whoop of joy, and Hermione said, "I understand that there is some good news here, Harry?"

"Hermione … apparently, that kiss we just had married us in magic!"

Hermione's eyes widened … had she heard right? A few seconds later, the news finally got through to her brain and she let out a squeal of happiness, while Goblin Burgengold looked at the happy couple with a smile on his face. "Since I see that Frau Potter does not speak German, I vill revert to my English, if that is allright vith you, Milord?"

"That's fine, Meistergoblin Burgengold. What else is there?"

"I have come all the vay out here to deliver the money that you von in the poker game. I von't be keeping you very long, so, Frau Potter, if you shall enter the account number … sehr gut … now, mein Herr Potter, you can enter the passvord."

"Hermione can do that," said Harry, smiling.

"I can? I would if I knew what it was."

"Hermione, dear, you know what it is … do you want me to spell it out for you?" Hermione nodded. "Very well, dear … H … E … R … M … Y … I … O … N … E."

Hermione looked dumbstruck for a second, then smiled as she said, "Harry, my name doesn't have a Y in it."

"I know, dear, but it was to make it just a bit harder for anyone to just guess the password."

"Vell, congratulations again to the both of you. The funds have been transferred to the account you named. Sorry for the interruption, and auf wiedersehn."

"Auf wiedersehn, Meistergoblin Burgengold," they said. As he left, Hermione turned to Harry. "So, Harry, now that we have the 122 million Galleons you've won, what do we want to do – especially now that we're married?"

"I'd like to retire from the Ministry, see the world …"

"You love working for the Ministry, darling. Why do you want to leave?"

"Yes, dear, but every mission I've done for them, I end up losing more of myself. I want to leave with what little of myself I have left, do you understand me? I want to share the rest of my life with you, if I can, but one of us is going to get an honest job, and I think that'll have to be you. I have no idea what counts as being an honest job."

"Harry, you aren't going to hide away from me again, are you? Are you going to put your armor back on again?"

"Hermione … you've broken my armor. I have none left. Whatever is left of me … all that I am … Hermione, I'll be yours, now and forever."

They both started to engage in a snogging session, which soon developed into more as, laughing, they stumbled their way together into the bedroom …


	8. Chapter 8

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

**Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures. It's amazing to think how the story is almost done!**

**P.S., I noticed the negative reactions I got about the first draft of this chapter and the following, so I'm posting revised versions of each. I sincerely hope you like these better!**

**Chapter 8**

Harry made good on his promise to resign from the Ministry, using a computer to send an "electronic owl" to M. The Ministry, in the years since Voldemort's demise, had found ways to accommodate Muggle technology. This move allowed the formation of the Ministry's Q-branch. The ancient wards of Hogwarts, however, would still fry any electronic equipment, but this was accepted as a fact of life. The message read thus:

"M, I hereby tender my resignation to the Ministry, to be effective immediately. I've appreciated all my service and your gratitude, but it is time for me to move on. Sincerely, Harry James Potter."

Upon reading Harry's message, M broke into tears. She always had a soft spot for the young lad, in spite of all the trouble he made. She wasn't the only one. Q admitted, "I'll miss you, Harry, and all the fun times we had."

Throughout the Ministry, people raised a toast to the greatest 00 agent they had ever seen. "Good luck, Harry Potter, wherever you'll be and whatever you'll do."

~[James Bond riff]~

Harry and Hermione managed to get their hands on a boat, and they started sailing around the world – at least the Mediterranean. They would stop in places like Athens, Istanbul, even visiting the cities of Jerusalem and Cairo. As a couple, they could not be happier. Hermione was worried, though, because there happened to be a strange man following them …

~[James Bond riff]~

In Venice, the two were staying at a hotel. One morning, Hermione suggested to Harry that she would go get some more money, and he could go get supplies. She kissed him and left for Gringotts.

Harry's cell phone rang, and he answered it. "Good morning, M. Harry Potter here."

"Good morning to you as well, Potter. A goblin came to us at Gringotts, and we're worried about the money that you won in the poker tournament. When are you going to deposit it?"

Oh, right … the money. "Oh, it seems I've forgotten to deposit it all this time. I'll get it transferred today as soon as I can."

"See that you do, Potter. Good luck."

Harry then called up Burgengold. "Meistergoblin Burgengold, it seems I'm having difficulty accessing the funds in my account."

"Mein Herr Potter, they vere in the account you gave us … in fact, the funds are being vithdrawn as ve speak."

"Where would that be?"

"Gringott's Venice branch, of course, in St. Mark's Square."

"Danke schön, Meistergoblin Burgengold." (Thank you very much, Master Goblin Burgengold). As Harry hung up, he noticed Hermione's phone. He looked at it to see, "Meet you in 30 minutes." He then thought, "Oh, this is bad, this is very, very, bad …"

~[James Bond riff]~

Not knowing the layout of Venice exactly, Harry decided to run on foot instead of risking Apparation and a possible Splinching. He ran out as fast as he could towards St. Mark's Square, where he saw Hermione coming out. Instead of directly confronting her, he decided to tail her as best as he could – maybe he could retrieve the money. What was she thinking?

She gave the suitcase of money over to a man with one dark lens in his glasses – Gettler. Gettler must have sensed Harry coming, because he grabbed Hermione and said, "Potter, stop, or I'll kill her!"

Harry was hiding behind a column, and he peeked out. Gettler was holding Hermione in the classic hostage pose – right in front, with a gun held to her head. It would be very hard to get a good shot, even with a wand. An Expelliarmus on a gun – there was a 50/50 chance that the gun could fire in such a situation, and Harry was not willing to take the risk. He growled to himself, "Nobody hurts her and gets away with it!" He also saw a few people with AK-47s up on ledges above, and struck out with a few Blasting curses, sending the guards to their deaths.

Gettler was amazed – how could Potter take out these guards in a matter of mere seconds? He then backed away with Hermione into a building and locked her in a steel cage in the middle of the building. "Come and get me, Potter!"

The duel between Harry and Gettler lasted for a couple minutes, but the building started to crumble as a result. Harry made it to Hermione's cage and said, "Hermione, I'm here to get you out of here, darling."

"Harry," she said, tears in her eyes, "I'm sorry … I've always loved you, always will."

"Hermione, what are you doing? HERMIONE, NO! HERMIONE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Harry could not help but yank on the bars, desperate to get her out of there.

She kissed his fingers. "I love you." She then pulled the pin connecting the cage to its frame, and it fell into the water. Harry dived in and rescued her out of the cage. As they both reappeared at the surface, he gave her CPR, and she started to cough water out of her lungs. Harry couldn't help but kiss her in great relief as she opened her eyes.

"Harry … what happened?"

"Hermione, don't you dare scare me like that again … I thought for a moment I'd lose you. What was the big idea?"

"Harry, they wanted the money from me. I didn't know what else to do."

"Forget the blasted money for a moment, Hermione. We at least have each other, that's the good news. The bad news is, I got a call from M asking about the money and when we're going to deposit it …"

"… And I just walked away with it. I'm sorry, Harry."

"We all do dumb things sometimes, Hermione. The question now remains, where is the money?"

Unbeknownst to either of them, someone had grabbed the money and ran off with it …

~[James Bond riff]~

"Hermione, we're just relieved you're still alive," said M over a cell phone.

"It's all thanks to Harry, M. I was afraid I would have died without him."

"Believe me, Potter would not let you die if he had anything to say about it. By the way, Potter, what do you have to say about Weasley?"

"I don't know what to think. Keep grilling him. We want some answers."

"Quite so. We're going to want the two of you back here in London as soon as possible. Do you have any leads on the money?"

"Just one," said Harry over his cell phone. "Antonin Dolohov."


	9. Chapter 9

"**Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"**

By Loki Palmer

** Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures. Well, I hope you enjoy the last chapter here! **

**P.S., Due to the sadness about Hermione's death in the original version, I redid Chapter 8, and so here is a redone Chapter 9 as well.**

**Chapter 9**

Antonin Dolohov drove into his Italian villa feeling quite happy. He got Potter's money and all was looking well. As he got out of the car, his phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Antonin Dolohov?" said a cold, familiar voice.

"Yes, this is he."

"Good," the voice seemed to smile. "We need to talk."

"Who is this?" Dolohov then felt pain like nothing he had felt before as two thunderous Blasting Curses hit both of his kneecaps, shattering his legs. Naturally, in this position, he fell down to the ground and crawled forward. He saw the sky darken, he heard the thunder, and then he was flipped over onto his back.

The sight in front of him made him wet his pants in fear, as he saw before him a black-haired man, the wind blowing his hair around and his green eyes glowing with a terrible rage. The man said in a cold growl, "The name's Potter. Harry Potter."

His fear grew all the more when a brown-haired woman, her brown eyes glowing with as much rage, stepped up besides Potter and said to him in an equally cold voice, "Dolohov … how good to see you. Thanks for handing us back OUR money."

Dolohov had only one thought on his mind, "What in the nine levels of Hades did I land myself into?"

** I hope you enjoyed this story! Smiles! Should I do a sequel?**


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